As I sat alongside my grandma and parents in the hard folding chairs five or six rows back, lights dim, fans whirring in the otherwise hot and stuffy school gymnasium, memories of my own dance days popped into my head.
Yes, I danced. Beginning in first grade, learning ballet in my little sparkly pink dress (oh, how itchy it was!) to "She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain" all the way to discovering how much fun clogging was in 6th grade. For eight years I danced: tap, ballet, jazz, clogging.
Eighth grade hit and I didn't enjoy it as much, so I decided to retire the dance shoes. In high school I turned to FFA and never looked back. And here I am, passionate about the agricultural industry and its people, and ready to write all about it.
Somewhere along the line I got so wrapped up in FFA and my writing that I completely forgot how much dance had meant to me. As much as I'd like to say I always wanted to be involved in agriculture, that the farm was where I belonged, I can't say that 100% truthfully. In my younger years I was all about the arts- dancing, singing, acting, music, writing, drawing, painting... Those things have shaped me a lot more than I realized.
These past few weeks I've been going through some tubs filled with all of my old crafts, homework and projects from elementary school. It's been like opening a time capsule all about me. And let me tell you, there is something extremely personal and honest about doing that.
I've learned a lot about little Courtney recently, and the funny thing is the more I read what I wrote and look at the pictures I drew the more I actually remember my childhood. And I'm finding the more I remember who I was as a little girl- my personality and interests, the more I understand who I am today. Recently, I've been so focused on the present and the future that I've lost touch with my personal past. It's been a nice trip down memory lane and a nice remembrance of who I am and how far I've come.
A few things that stood out:
- I wanted to be a famous dancer when I grew up.
- I wanted a horse really bad.
- I loved the color pink. (Really little Courtney, really??)
So, yeah. I was a bit of a girly girl.
But the more I dug into my old papers, the more I saw beyond the girlish aspirations. Even though the farm and agriculture means something completely different to me now than it did then, Aggie Courtney was hidden in there.
First there were the pictures...
Then were the words...
Sure, I dreamed of being a dancer and dancing in front of large crowds applauding my efforts and throwing roses at my feet, but that was a fleeting dream. Who am I really? I'm that little girl who grew up on the farm with cows for neighbors and wide open spaces to run around in. And as I grow older, I realize that is the lifestyle I hope to remain a part of and share with others through my writing.
My mom says her little ballerina grew up into an aggie. And, I'd say with sure confidence she's right.
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